Ben’s Dad passed away and as he emerged from the fog of grief, he felt he needed something positive to do. “I decided to ride from John o’ Groats back to Southampton where my father died to raise money for the Hospice where he passed away.”  Ben started to tell people his plan, even though he didn’t even know how far he would be cycling. By telling people he committed to it, “eventually a friend loaned me a bike so I could do a trial run, in that one ride I completely fell for cycling.”  Ben cycled 1115km from John O Groats, mainland Britain’s most northerly point to Southampton on the south-coast. “My cycling journey began when I started training for the charity ride. I cycled to Richmond Park and looked back across London.  I had the first feeling of wow look what I have achieved.”

While Ben was falling in love with cycling the idea of New Normal was also growing. “Jack came to me and said he loved the chats we were having but he’d also love to speak to other people about it. We posted about it on our Instagram and invited people to come and talk about those they had lost in their lives.”

From a social media post the ripples went out. “On the 18 May 2018 we stood in a room in a community center with way too many biscuits wondering if anyone would turn up. There were seven people in the room. It was a really organic way of meeting people, we introduced ourselves and we talked about our grief.”

From that first meeting New Normal grew. “In two years we hosted 40 in-person meetings, a couple of hundred people. When the pandemic struck, we told everyone we were going to run an online meeting, we had 50 people sign up. On that first call we had people from all over the UK, France, Spain and Holland. It was the start of what the charity looks like now.”

New Normal has grown into a global charity, “we now have 65 volunteers around the world and are launching in France and Spain. We understand the necessity of people having a safe space to connect with others, to allow difficult conversations to take place.”

The benefits of cycling to mental and physical well-being are widely known, but how people experience cycling can be very different as cycling can be done in so many ways, “Cycling gives me two layers – space to think and a time to shut down and be in the moment,” says Ben. “Sometimes I like to ride on my own, I like some quiet music, it gives me some space to start to process some of the things in my mind. I find the repetitive sound of the wheels turning almost meditative,” Ben explains, “but when you are going fast you can only focus on what is in front. There is nothing then but me and the bike. Mindfulness is all about living in the moment. And for me that is on a bike, going fast downhill.”

Ben encourages people at New Normal to cycle and walk as part of their experience of bereavement, “there is a physical connection to the emotional connection. If people need to talk, we suggest they cycle or walk. It is not as daunting as a face-to-face meeting. You are side by side, close but you can’t see each other, you aren’t staring into each other’s face.”

The rhythm of cycling also allows difficult conversation to open up at its own natural pace.

“As you go up a hill you may stop talking, or one of you can drop back for a breather. It can take some of the pressure out of the conversation as the ride has its own stops and starts, ebbs and flows.”